Very Interesting. The cadance of most of the first part is incredibly and paradoxically lyrical in an almost Shakespearean way. It is by far the strongest part. The second part and the coda are weaker and lose a bit of the fierce focus even as they try to push the plot forward.
It has great potential if you continue to work on the weaker sections.
Review
It has great potential if you continue to work on the weaker sections.
--Silverthreads